In the midst of Fear and Faith

So...I have committed to this "blog thing" right? And I must say, I am thankful that I am certain it was the Lord's direction or honestly...I would have quit after the first post! What a rush of emotions that follow when you decide to step out in faith and "put yourself out there" (I use quotation marks a lot...and the 3 dots thing too).

Anyway, there is a line in a song, "Who am I that YOU would ever use me?" that comes to mind and that seems to be the most fitting explanation of how this feels. Anyone can do this, anyone can start a blog God, and so as God nudged me I began to say "I am already "putting myself out there" starting a "new" ministry in counseling, so let me work that out first"!

I haven't spoken of this before, but I was challenged to "write" many years back by my best cheerleader of a husband and some family members too. It was a sweet compliment and I cherished it in my heart as they say. I had a secret DESIRE that God was going to do something with it but was fearful to wish that! Crazy. So He kept sending me "the Word" in big and small ways and I kept thinking, "one day".

To most of the umm, "younger generation", a blog is a blog, everyone has one and so what?...but to me this is a precious privilege, a challenge set before me by the Most High God, and a ministry to anyone that stops by. It is such a PRIVILEGE that I have difficulty putting words to that. So with that said, and I suppose this should have been my FIRST post, I continue.

I was in a great book "Victory Over the Darkness", by Neil Anderson this week. I had awakened to a state of ANXIETY. You know what that is...the opposite of ABIDING and resting. I have what we call a "fear-based" nature vs an "anger-based" nature. I suppose that's why the call to truly understand and experience the Peace and Promise of Abiding in the Spirit has become my greatest and sweetest challenge. I have found that many people, even anger-based people are bound up in the stronghold of fear. Because anger...is just a secondary emotion to fear! So...I think the topic of Fear and Faith fits right nicely into a blog about remaining "In the Vine".

Anderson was sharing about the soul of the regenerated man and how his mind has been renewed and transformed. How his emotions are characterized by "peace and joy instead of turmoil". So when I awakened to my anxious state I had to take inventory of my "emotions". I pray dear reader that this process will become your habit also, for it is straight from scripture. I believe in resting in Christ. I experience resting most of the time. So when I am not feeling His Presence and Power I know it is time to go before Him and let Him teach me and have full access to all parts of me. I turn to 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 where it instructs about spiritual warfare. "For though we walk in the flesh we do not WAR according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh (awesome), but DIVINELY powerful for the destruction of FORTRESSES (can anyone say stronghold of fear here?). WE are destroying SPECULATIONS (thoughts) and PRETENSIONS (lies which come from Satan's accusations in our thoughts) that sets itself up against the truth of what Christ says, and we are TAKING EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE to the obedience of Christ".

As I sat on this porch, God reached right in, He took my pen and my paper and He asked me "what is your fear hear gal"..what's going on with this and that and as I wrote it all out He exposed TRUTH. (The take every thought captive to the obedience of the truth of Christ moments). My time in Anderson was also "for me" that day, because He took my habit of taking thoughts captive to a new level that day. He said God has a part and man has a part. God promises His Presence, His Purpose, His Preparation, and Protection (he called this the P Plan), and then he said remember the "God Statements": GOD IS HERE...GOD KNOWS IT...GOD CAN DO IT.

I recall a dear friend telling me once, "Praise Prompts Peace". Why? Because it reminds us "God's got this". If you are not experienced in examining your emotions and your thoughts its the beginning of victory, for what we feel is fleeting but it affects what we are believing and that affects what we choose to DO. I am praying for you and remember to always..."Be Gods" (rich mullens).

God gave me my appetite...

It has been nearly a week since my last post and yet it has been a time of pursuit of Him and His will so that's a good thing. The last post hopefully wet some appetites about the things of the Spirit. I have an "appetite" for knowing all I can about the Lord, His Spirit and the mysteries of God. I didn't do one single thing to attain that appetite, it came from God, the Author and Creator of all things seen and unseen. I recall first learning these mysteries of God and they continue to amaze me.

In Romans 1:19-23 it says, "...that which is known about God is evident, within them, for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power, His divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what is made, so that they are without excuse." But God chose to come to us in the form of man so that we could fully understand His love!

For it says that, "God will judge the secrets of men through Jesus Christ"..."God nowhere holds a person responsible for having the heredity of sin, and does not condemn anyone because of it. Condemnation comes when I realize that Jesus Christ came to deliver me from the heredity of sin, and yet I refuse to let Him do so" (Romans/Chambers).

I hope that your appetite is now anxious to know more, for God's Word goes on to say that, "Just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, thus death spread to all men, because all sinned...and so we see that just as the nature of sin entered into the human race through ONE MAN, the Holy Spirit entered into the human race through ANOTHER MAN.." Romans 5:12-19.

What does this mean for the soul which is stirred to belief?!!! Living forever is not enough for God dear friend..no! That is NOT the end of the story...being REGENERATED and having a new heart is the rest of the story! I love how Oswald Chambers says this. "The new testament teaching about regeneration is that when a person is "hit" with his own sense of need, God will put the Holy Spirit into his spirit, and his personal spirit will be energized by the Spirit of the Son of God...until Christ is formed in YOU" (Gal 4:19).

And that is the message I want to leave you with today. I must get to this point. It is my responsibility and not Gods. I must tell God I am at the point that I NEED HIM...only then will He begin this work of regeneration in me and create in me a new heart, having His Spirit, and continuing to reveal His Son in me". And so the message is that it doesn't end at the point of "belief". And I say Amen to that!

In recognizing what He did for me, in His coming and being mercilessly beaten and crucified to the point of nonrecognition for my "heredity of sin" or my sin state, and then being raised from death, I learned that I would live forever with Him. But the Spirit beckons me to understand even more. Not only was it for my life but also for my "life abundant"..my freedom of sin's captivity. He was also raised for me to live in victory over that power of sin! How? In the glorious message of abiding...Therefore, I strive to live at that point of NEED, every day, and every hour, just as how I first came to Him, a pauper, poor in spirit. So dear Savior and Friend indeed, "I need thee every hour". Till next time, I am praying for you.

The Spirit of Prayer

I "introduced" a group of ladies to Andrew Murray...who lived a long time ago and wrote numerous books on prayer and abiding in Christ. He has greatly influenced my journey toward Resting In and Experiencing God vs. just "knowing a lot about Him". Through him, the Spirit has taught me that I often approached the Holy Spirit with grief and self-reproach. But as Murray says "He bears the name Comforter and is given to lead us to find in Christ our chief delight and joy"....and still more sad, we grieve Him, because, "He who dwells within us to comfort us is often grieved by us because we will not permit Him to accomplish His work of love". Wow. His "work of love".
I believe we are sorely ignorant of the work of the Spirit! The Bible has MUCH to say and I have MUCH to learn about Him. But I have learned more on my porch with an open Bible than many years just going through the motions of "being an obedient church-goer". For instance, in Zechariah 12:10, He is called, "The Spirit of grace and supplications"...in other words He is the Spirit of prayer!
Paul said, "Ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father...and God hath sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying Abba, Father (Romans and Galatians). So as we meditate on those words, "Abba Father"...it is connecting us as children through the Spirit of Love to our Invisible Father.
So meditate on those words, "Abba Father". It is to be spoken in childlike trust and surrender. Andrew goes on to explain that we also read where it says "we cry" and "He cries"! Wow...this is "the divine and human cooperation in prayer". See why I love Murray? I can't wait to share more of what God wants to show you and me about Himself and His Spirit that we so often misunderstand! Till then I am praying for you.

I don't want a flat tire

Knowing your day is orchestrated by the Lord is something I am constantly aware of. I wonder if I am alone in that. There's just this surety as my day unfolds that HE has a hand in everything that is allowed in or out of my goings-on that brings me both comfort and a pause at the mystery of it all.

It also keeps me in this state of awareness of His Presence. I am having to borrow a friends car while ours is getting a new motor. Our friends had put it to rest for awhile prior to getting new tires...and then we called with a need. So, obviously, I could get a flat tire. So how does this fit into "your day is orchestrated by the Lord"?

Here's how I roll...First, I tell the Lord I don't want a flat tire and I tell Him that He has told me to come boldly before the throne and ask in the spirit of a little child who knows that her Father wants to give her "good things". And He has also told me "you don't get because you never ask!"

So I ask. Abba Father, (that means "daddy" in aline language), I surely don't want a flat tire! And then comes this "But" that always follows that request for me! BUT Lord, the ULTIMATE example of your Son and My Savior, revealed in His life example, is that we can request but we must also TRUST.

Remember my tag line a few days ago? "Trust vs try and Rest vs Struggle?" I always say BUT I trust YOU are orchestrating my day and if you allow a flat tire or any other frustrating thing in just help me to exemplify Your Character, learn what You want me to learn, and trust that You are all up in it! So after I prayed my prayer I read this passage from Psalms 107: 9

"For He has satisfied the thirsty soul, and the hungry soul He has filled with what is good".

Dear Father, You want to satisfy the thirsty and feed the hungry soul but so often it does not hunger and thirst for "righteousness". Help me to hunger and thirst for only Your Righteousness today Lord and everything that you allow in or take out of my day will be used for Your Glory. aline

difficult passages...

I love the Fall so much that even when it is still humid and warm...my spirit says there is a "touch of Fall" in the air!  What a beautiful morning to sit with You Lord and talk to you on my front porch.  He will always send ME a personal WORD...or "Rhema" that means "to speak or utter or command", and yet when it's spoken to me in the inner man, as I read the word, it is PERSONAL from the very Spirit of Christ. 
Yesterday I spoke of how decidedly or even undecidedly worn out and BUSY the women were at the Ladies retreat. 
We spoke about depression, anxiety, comparative thinking amongst ourselves, and how to begin to  "abide and rest".  I thought the ladies might walk out at the idea of truly letting it all go and get with God....but they didn't.  NO...I saw hunger and longing in their eyes and tears fell on Sunday.  The truth is not always a pleasant thing to hear, but for the follower...it still brings joy and peace to the heart. We spoke of Christ's suffering is what brought Him JOY!  Christianity is filled with paradoxical experiences!  I must die to self in order to live, I must be willing to be last but that will result in my being first, I must be humble in order to become filled with Godly confidence...So, let's see...the things we might find unpleasant will be the very things that bring us blessing, joy, and hope.  Got it.  But even that is another paradox...what is simple is not always easy!

In Luke 9: 57-62 we find Jesus delivering this same "unpleasant" truth about following Him to a man who said, "Lord, I will follow You wherever you go"..but Jesus knew the condition of this man's heart and used it to speak the hard truth to him.  By the way, that's always His way.  He doesn't spare my feelings, He doesn't sugar coat it, He tells it like it is.  I need that.  He knows it.  I will make hundreds of rationalizations and excuses if He doesn't.  And that is what we find here in the rest of the passage..Jesus says, "Ok, but there's a cost to following me..I have nowhere to lay my head".  And we really like our little "nests" don't we!  We get VERY ATTACHED to our nests...and Jesus ALWAYS goes to the places we need Him to go.  "But Lord,...my nest is for You!  You know that Lord!"...and He still calls..."Leave your father, your mother, your brother, your children...follow hard after ME"...and THEN all of these things will be added unto you!  Dang..I keep putting the cart before the horse!  And I believe that has been the most EFFECTIVE tool of the enemy..because it is wrapped in the decorative package called "doing good"...but we have lost our Savior!

How attached are you to your "nest"?  I know that soccer practice, baseball, dance, doctor appointments, exercising...and the list multiplies as I type...and my heart screams all the louder dear friend, He says, "Come away with Me! and I will give you rest!" 

Matthew 11:29-30

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

²⁹ Take My yoke upon you and ^(A)learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and ^(B)YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. ³⁰ For ^(C)My yoke is ^[a]easy and My burden is light.”

Ah the cost is GREAT...but the REWARD is bountiful.  Ask Him how to make this fit into your truly complicated and busy world that society has placed upon you.  He knew that..he said it long ago...He chose His words carefully..."burden, rest for your weary souls, easy and light"...He is a gentle man, a kind and loving man.  God wants to be your Father.  And He wants to be your teacher..and calls you friend.  Till tomorrow...It's been great to be with you and the Lord today! 

It's been a "while"...

I see it was 2010 when I first entered this blogging world.  Can anyone say "procrastinate"?  Man...However, I am determined to keep trudging forward into this world of connecting through what is now fondly called "social media".  Why?  Because I am benefiting from a blog by Lysa Terkeust, from Proverbs 31 ministries...and her blog is so much more personal than the devotionals (which I also love).  They inspire me to grow deeper with the Lord and that is my total desire for this blog and anyone who wanders in to visit with me too.
So...The Lord keeps telling me to stop the PROCRASTINATION and jump back in, and I am finally telling HIM OK. 
I am striving to Post often..OK...daily.  I will post about what the Lord is doing in my heart as I move forward in His High Calling of being an Ambassador of the Kingdom.  Wow, just writing that makes me sit up straight! 
Don't really feel like an ambassador of anything...like most women I am an ordinary wife, mom, grandmom, sister, friend...just trying to balance how to get through the day feeling like I have made a positive difference in someones life.  Recently, I spoke at a women's retreat (which I will certainly blog more about later since it was AWESOME), but there I discovered how desperate we all really are...yet we are striving to find worth and value in all of the wrong places!  Mainly in DOING for EVERYONE.   He has given me a message to share about how to TRUST vs. TRY and REST vs. STRUGGLE.  Now THAT is a tag line if I ever heard one...see you tomorrow

I am the VINE

"I am the Vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing" John 15:5
NOTHING....I am ready Lord for NOTHING.